After interviewing a lot of single men and women on their dating experiences, It's Just Lunch managed to get some inside information on what men and women are really looking for when they meet someone for the first time. In the past, we’ve offered tips on making a good first impression, flirting and wordplay, and tips for both sexes on what they expect out of someone on a first date.
However, through all the tips and tricks, sometimes it just comes down to chemistry and timing. So what are those two seemingly nebulous, yet important, parts of a date?
You Can’t Force Chemistry… But You Can Coax It Along
What does it really mean to have chemistry with someone? Most people aren’t sure exactly what it is, but they know it when they feel it. If you have good chemistry with someone, such as on a first date, you’ll want to pursue more time with him or her. If there is bad chemistry, then it’s unlikely you’ll want to see each other again.
Whatever the case, most singles – almost 66% of our respondents – said that chemistry is the single most important part of a first date; more so than even initial compatibility. While a couple may not be perfect on paper, a first date may reveal a lot more than what is in a profile.
In fact, almost 44% of singles said that if they “felt comfortable being themselves” it meant the first date was a success. And listen up, ladies: 49% of men said that being able to feel comfortable as themselves on a first date was a sure sign of a good one.
On occasion, there will be times where a first date will reveal no chemistry whatsoever. While this isn’t a bad thing, it might mean that one person wasn’t comfortable opening up, or perhaps there was mutual defensiveness on both sides.
Confidence Has A Lot To Do With Interviewing… That, and Timing
The comparison may seem a little cold, but let’s face it: first dates are very much like interviews. Exude confidence, be comfortable in your own skin, be interested and kind to your first date, and chances are you’ll get a second one. However, there is a limited time window in which most people decide on whether or not they’ll want to see someone again.
According to our respondents, 44% of women and 46% of men decide within the first twenty minutes whether or not a second date is in the cards. The good news is that since a previous survey in 2004, both men and women are gradually deciding later and later in the date as to whether or not they want to see each other again. For example, in 2004, almost 80% of guys decided whether or not to take a woman out again within the first 15 minutes!
Dating Material or Relationship Material?
If the chemistry and compatibility is right, most men and women start thinking about when they want see each other again. However, are they merely thinking about a second date, or are they thinking about a relationship?
Hold on to your hats, guys: 45% reflected on a first date and then asked yourselves, “Is she relationship material?” On the other hand, almost 51% of women are more likely to consider whether they want a second date or not, while 39% asked themselves if a guy was relationship material.
Even though it seems a lot can happen within the first hour of a date that makes a single decide whether or not they want to see someone again, the best thing to do is just slow it down. Dating, and much like the relationships that can follow, are marathons; not sprints.
With all the complex intricacies that can occur on in a first date, it’s tough to expect perfection. If we let our guards down a bit and relax, have fun, be comfortable in our own skin and make our dates comfortable in theirs, you’ll never know what kind of surprises you'll discover.
Are you ready to go out in search of a little chemistry with someone? Let the matchmakers at It's Just Lunch help you. Get started today by calling us at 1-800-489-7897 or click here to tell us a little about yourself.
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